Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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