Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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