i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
