Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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