I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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