no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
