Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
handjob tips. give me some.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
