There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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