This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
