Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
