he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
