So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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