So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
