So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
