Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
