i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
