You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
