Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ladies don't puke and tell
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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