I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
