She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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