Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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