This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
