Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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