one two three fourrrrnication!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
