Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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