all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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