brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
