And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
