best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
