Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I want is dick and wine.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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