im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
