This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
