well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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