He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
