I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
