Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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