Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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