what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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