drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
