i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
