Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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