the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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