if we break up, who will get the dealer?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
