i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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