I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
