I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
FUCK WHALES
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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