Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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