At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I want to fling myself into the sun
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
