all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
