I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize