is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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